Archive for December, 2014

The Fat Guy Returns
December 15, 2014

Wellllll, having lost almost all control, I have gained back most of my weight. I couldn’t afford to keep up with the “Fast Metabolism” diet. So I quit. Not liking it at all, but it brings up several things I’ve noticed about me, and maybe you notice it about yourself.
1. I self-destruct. I had hit about 247, and was the lowest I’ve been in quite awhile. So, being three pounds away from my lowest in forever, I self destruct. Let myself go back to old ways, weight creeping up 5 pounds, 10, 20, now 25. It’s almost like I REFUSE to succeed.
2. I fool myself. I keep saying I’m going to get back on it. I’m going to do this and do that, yada, yada, yada, and talk a great game. And do nothing. But in my mind, I’m Olympian.
3. It’s a mental challenge, not a physical one. In my mind I go back to how I lost the weight. And meditate on it for a few months…….then do nothing. Trying hard to get back to the mental part.
4. I’m all or nothing. If I can’t follow the eating and exercise plan COMPLETELY, then I don’t follow it at all. And I didn’t.
5. I get embarrassed. I don’t think I’ve gotten embarrassed in a long time, but this embarrasses me. It’s ridiculous, really. As the late Joan Rivers said, “I’ve lost so much weight I should be a charm on a charm bracelet”. It’s embarrassing for me, though, for a different reason. Not that the Fat Guy came back, but because I’m better than this.
6. I’m better than this. I settle for less instead of what’s best for me. Bad habits creep in and take my body hostage.  I submit and give them authority. As Stuart Smalley says, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”  Trying to remember that.
7. I still like me even though the Fat Guy returned. Somewhere along the way, how I look no longer affects the love I have for me.
8. Love is NOT giving in to every desire. Love is taking care of yourself. So, I’m learning a new “love”.
Thanks, I feel better.