Sugar (ba da da da da da) ah, honey honey
March 16, 2017

signature-cakes-midnightdelight

Sugar Diabetes. Type II.

What a cute name for a horrible disease. And, to make it worse, a self inflicted disease.

My mother was a diabetic. Sugar diabetic. I remember when she found out and she had to give herself insulin shots. She was overweight, ate poorly, and didn’t exercise. She had a sweet tooth like nobody I ever met.

She always baked, if it wasn’t cookies, it was pie, or cakes (oh, her cakes), or bread. Didn’t know about carbs then and just learning about them now. I’m Italian, of course I eat carbs. I remember pasta every Sunday (and maybe another day during the week), homemade bread with butter. On Sunday, I’d take a chunk of bread and dip it in the sauce while she was cooking it. Delicious doesn’t even describe it. Taste buds heaven is more like it.

So when she got diabetes, she didn’t change her eating much. I remember us kids helping her give herself shots. Two, maybe three a day, I don’t remember. But she hated it. And I said that wasn’t going to happen to me. But it did.

I tease and say it’s all my mom’s fault, but it’s mine. Undisciplined eating, lack of exercise brought this all on. I’m angry at nobody, but disappointed in me. I have a wicked sweet tooth. I wish Dr. Voisey could remove it, but it’s genetic. My father, however rarely ate sweets until he got into his later years after retirement, then he loved pies.

I’ve been diagnosed with this for about 17 years, and have been on Metformin since then. Recently, my sugar has gotten worse. Winter lack of exercise (laziness), and eating horribly (undisciplined). I am the type that as long as meds take care of the issue, there’s no sense in me changing anything. Until now.

My old doctor told me there is never a reason to eat a donut. I disagreed and switched doctors. Seriously, I did. Now my new doctor wants to add a medicine as my sugar has been ranging in the 180-220 range. That is bad and can cause eye, kidney, and other problems. My mother had a stroke at 65 or so. I don’t want that.

I remember mom, God bless her, after her stroke. It affected her speech, her one leg, and one arm. She still loved her sweets. One time I’m in the living room and I hear the fridge door open up and  then she heads out the door. I watch her. She went to the back of the yard and ate a donut! She didn’t want to get caught.

I went to the heart doctor recently, and she had my weight from two years ago to present. It ranged from 255-260. I’m at 257 this morning. I imagine, I’ve learned to maintain my weight, but I’d really like to maintain around 200 or so.

This blog has been about walking to 199, but it has been a journey with a lot of pit stops. I do good for awhile, I don’t do good, I do great, I do lousy, you get it. Up five, down five. Like Joan Rivers said, “I’ve lost so much weight I should be a trinket on a charm bracelet”.

So, I think it’s time. I made a deal with my doctor. I asked her that if she would wait until I see her in two weeks to decide on a new medicine. If I can’t bring it down by diet and exercise then I’m open to whatever she wants. She loves the idea, so I have been trying. And when I’m good with this mentally, it’s easy. When I’m wishy washy, its hard.

My first day of work after my decision, I go on the adolescent units, and there is donuts. Now usually, I go open the box “just to look”, and usually I take one. This day, I decided to treat sweets like porn……I just can’t look at it.

With this being said: I’m on the treadmill at home (B….O…..R….I…..N…..G), have begun packing my lunch for work with healthy snacks, and attempting to eat snacks every 2-3 hours between meals.

It’s working. My sugar has been as low as 110, and only as high as 159. Not where it needs to be, but it’s on its way down. Bonnie has been phenomenal and I couldn’t do it without her. She prepares healthy things, new healthier recipes, and prays with me. How blessed to have someone, when she heard the news about new medicines, took me by the hands and sat me down, saying “That’s enough”, and prayed with me. Through tears. I think she wants me around.

God is bigger than any problem. Jesus has been my help in all my situations. He is my strength. Will I slip up at times? I’m sure I will, but I’m praying that I don’t. I’m praying that however long it takes, I will no longer need medicine for this, but only self discipline.

I’m very thankful for medicines, but, as Bonnie said, “That’s enough”. So I’m praying this journey is helpful for some and hopeful for many. I’m 61, and God has been faithful to me.

I can do this. Romans 8:31- “ What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be[a] against us?”

No one.

As I remember, I will continue to put my highest and current weight at the bottom.

Please pray for me.

 

273.6/257.4

Sounds of Silence
July 24, 2013

July 24, 2013

“Sounds of Silence”

It has been almost a week since my last blog. A couple reasons for the silence.

I have done poorly regarding eating and exercise. After I hit my lowest in a long time (262.4), I think I got a bit over confident. Exercise was less this week (although I did have back issues, but that’s an excuse) and eating got bad.

Went back to old habits. Portion control was bad, we were invited out to eat and I over did it. feeling it’s ok because of how I’ve been doing, I just lost focus. Lots of focus.

Then, as I viewed this past few days as a failure, I got feeling bad about me, feeling bad about how I let people down, feeling bad. What does one do (at least I do) when I’m feeling bad? Eat. Like I said, bad week.

But, in reading Scriptures, I read of Joseph and his brothers, how the brothers mistreated Joseph yet Joseph received them with open arms, and they were restored. And as i read that, I realize that failure doesn’t reside in failed attempts, it resides in failing to attempt.

So I’m at it again. Disappointed? I was, but not now. It’s all learning. I find that the greatest lessons I learned weren’t in a school building, but in life. Life is the greatest school and Christ is the greatest teacher.

Remember, there are no mistakes if we learn from them. It’s a lesson. If we repeat the lessons, we just ain’t paying attention.

Weight this morning? 266.4, up 4 pounds. But this is a marathon, not a sprint. Let’s do this.