So Unfo……what was I talking about?
June 11, 2017



So, the one thing I am consistent on is my inconsistency. I didn’t realize that it has been two months since my last blog. It’s not that I didn’t have anything to say, as that rarely happens, but it’s not on my radar. I forget. I’m not focused.

I love writing (or typing) but it appears that I am not doing what I love to do best. Well, obviously, EATING is what I do best, and I do that well, thank you.

But I find I am getting forgetful. Age? Maybe. Too busy? Doubtful. Not focused? Bingo! Hold your cards, we have a Bingo! Again, hold your cards, we have a Bingo!

I am the least focused person I know. Example, just today. I go to pay for something today at the store and you have to put your card in with the chip to pay for it. So I wait…..and I wait…. then I ask the lady, “Does this machine not have a chip and I have to swipe it?”. She says, “No, it has the chip”. So I wait. Bonnie leans over and tells me, “You put the card in backwards.” As she always says, I’m not “in the moment”.

Then I go to the car and as I head for the door, I think, “Why is Bonnie driving?”. Well, she wasn’t, I was, but I apparently was heading for the passenger door. Forgetful. Not in the moment. Unfocused.

I have lived in the Shenango Valley for 55 of my 61 years. I walk in Buhl Park anywhere from 3-5 times a week. I love that park. But like today, I go to head to my car and Bonnie is going a different direction. I realize that I am headed for the wrong parking lot. I quickly catch up to her and pretend nothing happened.

Have you ever driven somewhere and as you’re driving, think, “I don’t know where I am or where I am going”? I’m not talking driving through Moscow, but your town, your county, places you’ve traveled your whole life. I have to focus on where I’m going.

Now I’m not really worried about this as I’ve been this way most of my life. I remember as a teenager driving home from Canfield, Ohio toward my home in Sharon, PA. I’m thinking, “take 11 South”, so I go. And I go. And I go. And I’m thinking, “I don’t remember it being this long”. My buddy Chuck was with me and I say, “are we going the right way”? He tells me that we are. So I drive. I saw a sign that said “Airport 12 miles”. I’m thinking I took a wrong turn and am heading toward Vienna, Ohio airport. It wasn’t until I saw the sign saying “Welcome to West Virginia”, I realized I needed 11 North, and the airport I was 12 miles from was Pittsburgh, PA, not Vienna, Ohio. I stop at a gas station for directions and watch two guys lifting their engine out of their truck with a two by four. West Virginia.

Yeah, that’s me. Unfocused.

Praying is hard for me. As I’m a preacher, that’s not good! I’ll be praying and in the middle say “Is that coffee I smell? Gee, what will I eat for breakfast? Did the Yankees win last night?”. ┬áThen I try hard to go back, and start thinking about the day, the night, the anything, and I’ve spent 10 minutes praying, and the only one prayed for is my dog because he’s sitting in front of me. It’s work.

I start conversations and never finish them. Ben says, “What?”. I ask him what he’s talking about. He said, “You started a sentence and never finished it”. I tell him, “Be quiet and watch the game”. Then I realize he turned the channel and he’s watching SportsCenter now. Unfocused.

So, I attempt to be focused. It’s not easy for me. Maybe for you that is reading this, maybe you can’t relate, particularly if you’re a female. But fortunately for this country of ours, the draft ended and I didn’t have to go to the military. Because, it would be quite possible I would end up wandering into a Vietnamese village asking if this was West Virginia.


P.S. I had to edit this blog. I said I walked 3-5 times a day in the park. I wish! It’s 3-5 times a week, so I changed it because, Hey look! A squirrel.




Stones in the Road
June 21, 2013

Well, it’s one of those days.

We all have them, and if anyone is honest that is on a journey like this, it can be discouraging. I thought I was doing pretty well, and have found that since my last post I am up 2 pounds. This is discouraging.

My father, when he worked in the mill, used to have what they called “go to hell” days. Those are days when you just don’t feel like coming into work, so you call off. This appears to be one of those days with me. I called off today.

I find several things about me I don’t like. One, I love immediate results. Two, I am impatient. Three, when I’m tired, I am useless. Four, when I’m spiritually weak, shoot me.

I am tired. My friend Bobby is dying daily. I spend three or 4 (or some cases 8) hours with him a day. My eating is less, but I think that I am not eating enough, if that’s possible. Plus, I am exhausted.

I have eaten more today than I have in a long time. But I really enjoyed it, realizing we have days like that. I slept little, and was too tired for my Planet Fitness morning adventure. (Maybe a walk later?). Discouragement mixed with tiredness and sadness with my friend is a bad combination. Plus my spiritual body is not doing well, as I’m not feeding it like I should.

But it’s not hopeless. I realize I cannot do this all on my own, the Lord has to help me, so that in my weakness, He is made strong. I know there will be stones in the road that I’ll run into and throw me out of whack, but I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Pray for my friend Bobby. I’ve never had a friend die before. Parents? Yes. Relatives? Yes, but no friend. We went to Haiti together and he is still such an inspiration for me. Me, yes, pray. This sure is a long journey. Today’s weight: 266.4, up 2 but down 6.6 since May 24th.